For many weeks, God put in my heart to write about relationships. I wasn’t remotely hesitant; my answer was a straight “no”. And I simply shut it down.

I didn’t want to write about that because it just didn’t make no sense to me.

I’m definitely not married, nor do I have a boyfriend. I don’t even have some flirtatious thing going on, so I was thinking: who am I to even speak on this topic?!

But then I remembered that God is the one who qualifies the unqualified.

As I was writing I realised that one of the reasons I was refusing to touch on this subject is because it is very controversial and necessarily my way of thinking and seeing things goes against the majority.

I had to let go of my pride and accept this truth that has been revealed to me, that I received, without boasting about it. And mostly, I had to assert myself about this revelation.

I firmly believe that there’s a person designed for each person destined to marriage and that we should only seek a relationship, try to find the one through God. Following God’s will for your life, His plan, His timing, His instructions!

And it’s through Genesis 24 that I received a real understanding on how to see His hand in our search.

First thing to look for is “quality”. In Genesis 24:3-4, when Abraham asked his servant to look for a wife for his son Isaac, he has only one instruction, only one request: to not take a wife for his son from the daughters of the Canaanites, but rather to take one from his country. There’s a quality, there’s a finesse added to your person when you’re a God-fearing man or a God-fearing woman.

By narrowing down your search to God-fearing men and women, you are already pulling yourself out of multiple unwanted situations, avoiding some unnecessary headaches, but mostly, you increase your chance of finding that person who is compatible to your destiny.

I am a woman of quality, so I must require a man of quality.

My second point is a different one but in a certain way is the continuation of this one. Because being Christian is not enough as a criterion, quality is also found in character.

At Genesis 24:14, the Abraham’s servant makes the following prayer: “Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.” Here, he wasn’t only putting God to the test or asking to be granted, he was looking for a quality. By this Rebekah would display generosity, hard-work, patience and much more…

Why are there so many relationships in the world that work better than some of those in Christ? Because even unbelievers know that what really matters is character. Your wife can rebababa as much as she wants, if she doesn’t submit to your authority and doesn’t respect you, it’s an infinite and useless fight you’re signing up for. Mister can be the pastor or even a prophet, but if at home he’s beating you up, what’s even the point? Matthew 7:20 says it well: Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

So, what are your foundations? What are the fruits? Do you look at their having or at their being?

God is attentive to our needs and our wants.

If you need someone who’s calm to center you, or to push you to surpass yourself, if you require transparency… He gives what you need. He will meet your standards and even more. But you cannot base all your criteria on frivolous and on shallow things.

Not only, I believe that God is attentive to our needs and our wants in the way of what we need but also in how we need it. There is such a depth here and I could elaborate so much more about this one sentence. But in brief, however you need to receive something and what you’re making yourself available to is how you’re going to be presented with your answer. God will reveal Himself to you in a way, in a language you understand. For example, in this verse (Genesis 24:14), the servant submitted to God how he needed to receive his confirmation.

In a case where in order to believe that the person presented to you is really from God, if you would need it to begin as friends, then God will set circumstances for you to get to know each other and grow a friendship. If, in the contrary, you’d need it to be more spiritual, where you must see an angel that will turn 3 times on himself, then get down on his knees and jump over your head then yell at you that this woman or man is the woman or man of your destiny. Best believe me that He’ll send down an angel to do all that and yell at you that this person is the one of your destiny. I believe that God is intentional and that He knows all His children. He is the God who answer our prayers before we’re done saying the prayer.

Then, nothing and nobody can oppose to God’s plan. We notice in the few next verses people and situations that come as an obstacle to the realization of the servant’s mission. The closer you are to the goal, it’s normal to meet more opposition. However, God’s sovereignty will always prevail.

Therefore, I’m asking you to stop selling yourself short, stop settling, stop panicking. When the time of God says today, it will be today. Even if the circumstances seem to go against His word, He is a faithful God. One of my friends once said: “God honours His word more than His name”. And it sticks with me.

It is a good thing to receive opposition because blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, but don’t let yourself be distracted and discouraged by it.

No matter how many attacks you receive and from whoever. Once revealed, the Word of God in your life will be fulfilled.

Word for the ladies: There’s a difference between opposition and God telling you “No” or telling you that you’re not ready yet. It’d be time for you to give up on those “I can change him.” No, you can’t! First, a man who wants to change will change. Second, you are not the head of the house, nor you have been designed to be the leader. A man is. So, if this man of yours isn’t able to lead you, protect you and cover you as a God-fearing man supposed to, you already know how it should be then. Even Jesus doesn’t force us to come to Him, He simply invite us to… So who are you to try to force this man into becoming a Christian or to change in this or that way? Please, let God be God!

Although, for the women who refuse submission, don’t you think it is a very sign he isn’t the one? That you body, spirit and soul are rejecting him. Because let me tell youuuuuu, a woman who feel she’s in a safe place will naturally bring out her soft, feminine side. In the contrary, if you are in a hostile environment or one that isn’t favorable to you being soft, you’ll tend to put on a shell because we all know that to be feminine is a very fragile state. That’s why a woman with the right man has no problem to submit to him, because she’s secure within herself and knows that he only wants what’s good for her.

Next, God wants you to be attracted to your significant other. Both Isaac and Rebekah were beautiful people and they pleased each other. The person God has for you will not necessarily look like Tayc or Ice Spice or whatever type you like, but you will be attracted to each other.

Finally, God wants you and your partner to love, respect and honour each other. A relationship that only exist when sin is involved is not of God. What is from God will not push you towards sin, push you to sin, or be led by sin. Something as simple as having impure thoughts when it comes to that person is a sign that you’re being led astray.

In Genesis 24:64-65, when Rebekah saw Isaac and knew that he was the man she was going to marry, she covered herself. By doing this she showed respect and honour towards Isaac.

It should also be mutual. Isaac also honoured Rebekah. A relationship from God isn’t a one-way relation. Moreover, there’s a difference between the fact that God wouldn’t have revealed you as the one to that person yet and that person clearly showing you disregard. A godly relationship should display the fruit of the Spirit. It should bring you peace and comfort and love.

A relationship that is from God is a one that is going to glorify Him.

I don’t know where you are in your journey, but I pray the Lord make it a success and that when He grants you, all you can do is look at this Heaven-sent person with admiration and love. May you be completely amazed and in awe because of that person but mostly because of the fulfillment of God’s work in your life. I pray you let go and let God write your love story.

Go be blessed!

HLL